Today someone asked me why I was so nervous about moving and I said, "Gee, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I AM MOVING TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY ALL ALONE FOR A JOB I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE. YA THINK?"

My room looks like a truck carrying moving supplies and laundry hampers collided with one carrying the entire contents of Urban Outfitters, including the jewelry, into the window of a library. Tomorrow everything goes into boxes, and I will cry. I will, just because it's so REAL, and so SOON, and WHY AM I TAKING SO LITTLE WITH ME? What about Hairybutt Bananapants, the gorilla Emilie gave me? And the 2-foot-tall inflatable Jager bottle from the flea market? And my Jesus action figure? Who will read the Oregon newspaper from 1953 that lines the bottom of my dresser drawers? Who will dust off my Coors Light bucket and my giant blue clown sunglasses?

Sad times.