I've been thinking about Cody a lot recently. The last couple of weeks especially. I mean, I always think about him, but he's been on my mind even more recently. I find myself telling perfectly nice boys all about this relationship and all these great things about my ex-boyfriend, and they give me this look. . .I can't believe I'm that girl. The hung-up girl, the emotional baggage girl. Maybe I've been listening to too many love songs. AOL has a "Wedding Music" radio channel that I like. . .but maybe that is not a good thing. The farther I get away from that relationship, the more I miss it. It's the opposite of what should be happening- I'm not getting over it, getting philosophical, understanding why it didn't work. I'm getting even sadder about it. . .and I start thinking "Oh God, what if he was the One, the love of my life, yada yada, and I screwed it up so monumentally?" Am I going to be that girl, the one who ruins the only good thing that's ever happened to her, then spends the rest of her life regretting it? I wish life were more like a movie, because you know that Cody and I would get back together eventually. To the accompaniment of violins and fireworks, in formal wear.