On several of the blogs I read regularly, like Dooce and Fussy, the writers suffer from depression or anxiety in some form or another. And they take medications and are quite up front about it in a totally offhand, "Oh, today I made lasagna and the doctor started me on some new meds" kind of way. It makes me feel all inspired in a coming-out-of-the-closet kind of way (the shoe closet, most likely). So, if anyone who reads this doesn't know;

I AM MILDLY MANIC-DEPRESSIVE, WHICH YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN PERFECTLY WELL IF YOU'D EVER GONE TO NORDSTROM'S WITH ME, AND AM CURRENTLY ON MY THIRD ANTI-DEPRESSANT.

That is part of the reason I'm so vocal about the fact that Tom Cruise is just batshit crazy.

This newest medication seems to work pretty well. At least I don't have the shakes and I don't feel like a zombie, both of which seem like pluses to me. I still get depressed and I still get hyper, just not in an uncontrollable, throw-myself-off-a-bridge kind of way. Which is definitely a plus.

And I know my mommy worries about me being alone in Thailand, that I'll get depressed and no one will be there to talk me out of it. I can't say I won't get really depressed, because I know I will at some point. But I can say this; Mommy Poo-Poo, don't worry about me. I will reach out if I need help, I promise. But I'm moving towards being a grown-up (albeit as slowly as possible), and that involves making my own mistakes and trying things I'm not totally sure I can do, and learning things that no one but life can teach me. So, don't worry that pretty little head of yours. Just concentrate on running the county, and keeping Alex off drugs, and not losing any more weight.

Isn't it funny (not funny haha, funny weird) how much easier it is for me to be serious and earnest and talk about feelings on a website than out loud?